LOST RECAPS

Well, well, well. Look at Lost, back like it left something. The dearth of new TV, even crappy new TV, makes its return that much sweeter.

Before getting into s04e01, we revisit clips from last season’s finale. I can’t help but laugh every time I watch this part develop:

Jack, listen. Those aren’t the good guys on the phone. Look at me, I’m making my serious face.

Jack, what do you think? Aren’t you a little nervous about who’s on the phone? Maybe we should strategize a little first.

Dude, it’s Jack! I was on Oceanic Flight 815. Yeah, that one. Can you pick us up? That would be super helpful.

Hello, freedom! We are guaranteed rescue and a complete return to normalcy based on Jack’s phone demeanor.

So now it’s on to season 4, and back to the future, or something. We’re on an island, we’re in the past, we’re in the future, we’re looping in an underwater time warp – who knows? Let’s just say, we’re in a day and age where drivers have a pretty careless attitude about well-stacked fruit pyramids. And where Jack drinks screwdrivers, but they’re pretty weak screwdrivers. And he’s scruffy, but not bearded. So it’s looking like post-island, pre-mountain-Jack future world, at first glance.

Jack catches the Camaro chase in all its O.J.-esque glory, and is like, “Damn.” Sure enough, the cops catch up, and we see John Popper’s cute sister slowly make her way out of the vehicle – wait, I mean Hurley. He’s got a pretty boss jeans jacket and a little ponytail action going on. Oh, and he’s shouting out the Oceanic Six, which I’m guessing is either the six survivors who made it off the island, or else homeboy piggybacked on the New Kids on the Block reunion. I’m rooting for #2.

So then Hurley has to go downtown for questioning – finally, they’re taking man-on-papaya violence seriously – and some cop reveals that he knew Ana Lucia. Connections, connections! But Hurley keeps it tight, gives very little reaction and plays it off like he didn’t know her. It’s kind of like Hurley meets The Wire, with a splash of his character from Curb Your Enthusiasm. Keep it gangsta, Hugo.

Then the cop leaves, some crazy underwater stuff goes on behind the mirror on the wall, and a hooded figure who may or may not be Charlie (or not…am I hedging my bets enough) swims up and smacks his big ol’ hand up, revealing what looks like THEY NEED YOU on his hand, before smacking the mirror area, sending water flooding into the room. Or is it just in Hurley’s kooky brain? I forgot what it was like to watch Lost. Thanks for coming back, you wacky show, you.

So then the cop comes back and is like, “What the hell is wrong with you?” How much time do you have? He threatens to throw Hurley back in the mental ward, and gets the most enthusiastic big-man hug since Sloth & Chunk made it official.

Now it’s back to the island, and we get the always expected, never-that-interesting schmaltz where all the characters pick themselves up, dust themselves off and make a little small talk to fill out the hour. There’s Jack winking at Ben, Jack and Kate wondering why Locke threw a knife in Naomi’s back, Jack getting his casual jog on, Sun and Claire making baby jokes, Claire complimenting Rose on Bernard’s heroism, Rose implying that Claire should give up the goods when Charlie gets back, Rosseau kicking Ben’s ass, and so on.

The action’s a little more interesting at the beach, where Desmond has returned from the Looking Glass to warn everyone about Naomi. Hurley cuts through the bull to scream “Where’s Charlie?!” What is that, Hurley’s 50th scream of the ep? Please, Hugo, don’t hurt em. Anyway, everyone gets somber. Even Sayid is catching feelings. I guess electromagnetism brings out your soft side.

Then they give Jack a shout from the beach, and Jack sidesteps the knifed-Naomi issue by saying she’s off getting firewood. Good one.

Back on the beach, Sawyer is in a hurry to relay Charlie’s warning to Jack, but Hurley is not having it. Once again, Hugo pulls a move straight out of The Wire and tosses the phone/walkie into the ocean. Gotta keep it tight in 2008! Or is it 2004. Or are they in an underwater time warp. I digress.

Back on the hill, Claire worries about what’s next, and Jack has a nice Three Amigos moment with the gang. It leads to a hug between Jack and Kate that seems to last, oh, six or seven minutes. Get a hatch!

Back in the looney bin (is that the accepted nomenclature?), Hugo gets a visit from – no way! Cedric Daniels! The Wire crossover signals are strong in this ep. Can we go back in time (perhaps with the help of an underwater time warp) and get Jorge Garcia on The Wire? “Apollo Bars, got them Apollo Bars! Two for 5!” Maybe the Dharma Initiative takes over the Baltimore schools this season.

Anyway, Daniels says he’s a lawyer from Oceanic and offers Hurley an upgrade to a better facility – with his own bathroom! That seems lame at first, but I bet that’s a big selling point in a mental institution. I bet they don’t clean the bathrooms nearly as often as one would like. He also offers him a view of the ocean, which freaks Hurley out. What’s that all about? Is he messing with him? Hurley says nah, he’s fine. But the lawyer persists: “Are you fine?” Hurley starts to get wise to this guy and asks for a business card. And what do you know? He’s fresh out. Then the so-called lawyer gets into creepy Lost character mode, uttering what’s sure to be a conversation starter:

“Are they still alive?”

Whoa! Lost moment. Hurley freaks out. Who is this creepshow? What’s the deal with Oceanic? Is the Lost gang, minus the Oceanic Six, still trapped somewhere? (Somewhere like an underwater time warp?) Who knows. Watching Lost is fun, I’m glad it’s back. You can only watch so much reality TV, in my case thousands of hours, often rewatching the same episodes over and over again, regardless of whether or not I enjoyed them the first time.

Now, back to the island. Hurley’s exploring with a torch, calling out for the guys, when he stumbles upon what’s sure to be the source of a big storyline this year – the crazy cabin! Yes, the wacky, whispering, secrets-behind-it-all-holding cabin.

Hurley: “Uh-oh.”

And we’ll have to stop there for now, as I’m off to work. Stay tuned for the rest of this week’s recap.

Edit: It’s live! Here’s Part 2 of the recap.