LOST RECAPS

It starts with an eye.

“Jack…Jack!”

It’s Jack’s eye.

And Juliet’s face. Entirely too close for comfort.

“Jack!”

Jack stares off to the side for a few seconds, then blinks and becomes responsive again. Where was he just now? Somewhere time-travelly, I reckon.

On the beach, “Saint” Bernard is arguing with Daniel about where everybody be at. Charlotte starts piling on in her insufferable voice. Rose steps in: “Just watch your tone, Red.”

Jack steps in and tells everyone to calm down, or else he’ll turn this whole time-shifted is-it-or-isn’t-it-an-island around. Sure, they’re lying, but sooner or later, their peoples will come back for them, we’ll be ready, patience is a virtue, a stitch in time saves nine, and so forth – then he keels over.

Juliet’s all in his face again. Too close, lady!

Trust me, that’s part of the problem.

We go from eyes-closed Jack on the ground to eyes-closed Jack in bed. A ringing phone seems to wake him, but like before, Jack opens his eyes for a couple of seconds before he becomes alert.

I smell a time-travel mind-rift. Anyway, it’s the hospital calling, reminding him he has an 11:00 that was moved up because, as the nurse puts it, “I know how you are with your calendar.”

Jack gets up, puts on a towel, picks up some lacy underwear (parting gift from Hurley?) and smirks contently (definitely Hurley) before heading downstairs. He steps on something. “Ow! Son of a bitch.” It’s the Millennium Falcon. Never curse the Millennium Falcon son! Never.

Jack puts two glasses of wine in the sink and puts on some coffee. He glances at a newspaper headline – Yankees bludgeon Red Sox in series sweep – and mutters, “A-Rod.”

Finally, time for the shower. But not for one, for two!

“Morning.”

“Morning yourself. I bought you a razor.”

“What, you don’t like the scruff?”

“Razor’s by the sink, Jack.”

Hmm. Doesn’t sound like Hurley, although I do detect an hourglass figure through the frosted shower door, so I’m still guessing it’s -

Kate!

Jate.

So it wasn’t Hurley’s underwear?

After the break, we join Jack as he reads Alice in Wonderland to “Hank” Aaron.

“Dear, dear, how queer everything is today. And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning?” Jack looks back to see Kate smiling. “But if I’m not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” Aaron is fast asleep in no time, because Alice in Wonderland is boring.

Out in the hall, Jack is like, Hmm, how can I get even more ass from this scenario? Oh, I got an idea. “My old man used to read me that story.”

“Really?”

Look at her, downright goofy with adoration.

“What?”

“It’s just sweet hearing you say nice things about your dad.”

“I don’t say nice things about my dad?” Another goofy Kate face. “Well, he was a good storyteller, I’ll give him that.” Jack moves in for a hug. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah…just I…I love seeing you with him. I’m so glad you changed your mind. I’m so glad that you’re here.”

“Me too.”

Me too!

Aaaand shippers everywhere just ejacuJated. Enjoy it while it lasts, friends.

Now let’s talk about that image in the background, shall we? What’s going on there?

Lookin’ a bit electromagneticalish and Smoke Monstery, innit?

Back on the island, Jack is coming out of his nap. Kate comes back to the camp more concerned about Jack than everyone else seems to be. She worried that he’s burning up, but he limps away looking like doo-doo to get a little rest.

So we join Sawyer, Claire and Miles “Davis” walking through the jungle. And Miles gets some crazy vibes!

He hears the voices of Danielle and Karl and the whizzing noise of the bullets that hit them, and quite possibly is watching/feeling those events take place, from the looks of it. Sawyer tries to get him to snap out of it, but Miles is transfixed. “Who’s Danielle and Karl?” Sawyer and Claire watch confusedly as Miles clears away some crap on the ground to reveal Danielle’s dead face. “Is this your French woman?” That would be her, yes. Then Miles digs up Karl. Sawyer and Claire are freaked out, and Aaron definitely doesn’t need to be seeing this, so they break out as Miles continues to stare at the ground.

Back in the “All About Jack” storyline, Juliet is nagging him to take his illness seriously, but “Just” Jack just thinks it’s food poisoning – cramps, dehydration, nausea. Juliet’s like nah doggy, lift your shirt up. It’s his appendix, according to Juliet, which Jack seems to know already. “Has it ruptured?” Not yet, he says. “Well,” replies Juliet in a way that sounds really evil either because a) it is or b) it’s Juliet, “I guess we’re just gonna have to take it out.” Appendix, or wacky Dharma implant? Or is she trying to put one in there? Something ain’t stirring the Kool-Aid with this one, but that’s all I got.

Juliet recruits Sun to help her get medical instruments, but Sun isn’t up for the job. Doctor Daniel Faraday reminds everyone about the doctor part of his name, but lingering trust issues prevail. Then he has an exchange with Charlotte that is stupid. It seems fakey fake like a fakeout. “Your attitude, your very bad attitude, is exactly why they don’t trust us.” No, we don’t trust you because you’re full of pooooooop! “We’re scientists, we don’t want anyone to get hurt, we just want to help.” Yeah, right. Juliet agrees to send the scientists, but gives Jin a gun and orders him to shoot them in the leg if they get uppity.

Kate asks Juliet why they don’t just move Jack to the medical station. “Because if we move him, then there’s a good chance that his appendix will rupture. And if that happens, he’s gonna die.”

Kate’s not feeling that.

Over on the boring side of things, Miles stares at “Marie” Claire and Aaron until Sawyer comes along and threatens him: “Don’t even think about it.”

“What?”

“Don’t look at her. Don’t talk to her. Don’t mess with her. You got a restraining order – 20 feet.”

“What are you, her big brother?”

“No, I’m the guy who’s gonna put a boot in your face unless you say ‘Yeah, I getcha.’”

“Yeah, I getcha.”

Miles shakes his head at Sawyer’s protectiveness. But it’s cute! Someone’s gotta protect Claire, even if she quite possibly died already.

On the beach, Bernard and Rose are waxing their surfboard or something.

Hang ten!

Rose is worried, but it’s not about Jack being sick, like Bernard thinks (husbands are so dumb). It’s about WHY he’s sick. “The day before we’re all supposed to be rescued, the person we count on the most suddenly comes down with a life-threatening condition? And you’re chalking it up to bad luck?”

“Well, what are you saying? That Jack did something to offend the gods? People get sick, Rose.”

“Not here. Here, they get better.” Good point. Maybe he’s pregnant?

Meanwhile, in a tent, Juliet “Binoche” is shaving Jack’s belly. Juliet manages to make this unsexy scene even less sexy than it sounds, and the three or four Jack/Juliet shippers in existence realize the odds are against them. Suckers! It’s a disease, you need help. Jack seems skeptical of Juliet’s abilities in this department, and Juliet’s lame explanation for why she’s shaving two inches above where the incision should be – “I’m just cleaning the area” – doesn’t inspire much confidence.

So Jack has another idea – numb the area and I’ll watch the procedure while Kate holds a mirror. Ha ha! Juliet argues for someone with medical experience. “No,” says Jack, cutting her off, “I want it to be Kate.” JATE4EVER suckas.

Back at l’hopital du futur, Jack walks a patient towards the exit and is about to head back when – wait a second.

Hold the phone.

Stop the presses.

Time out for Tastykake!

Yeah, we saw him too.

So is this the first of Jack’s off-island daddy visions? And is he really off the island? No time for pondering that now. There’s a phone call for Jack. It’s Dr. Stillman from Santa Rosa Hospital. It’s about a friend of Jack’s.

So Jack goes to Santa Rosa, and it’s to see Hurley. Hurley doesn’t look so hot, and from what Stillman tells us, skipping meds and therapy aren’t helping, since he doesn’t believe Doc Stillman exists. Well, does he? Seems like a valid question to me, crazy or no crazy.

“Hey, Hurley.”

“Hey, Jack.”

“Why aren’t you taking your meds?”

“Cuz we’re dead.”

Fair enough. When Hurley’s sad, I get sad, so this is sad.

He continues, “All of us. All the Oceanic Six. We’re all dead. We never got off that island.”

“Hurley, that is not true.”

“What did you do today?”

“What did I do today…I, uh…I woke up, took a shower. Kate and I fed the baby…”

“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with her.”

“I changed my mind after the trial.”

“Living with Kate, taking care of Aaron. It all seems so perfect…just like heaven.” I don’t know about heaven – have you met Jack and Kate? – but it does seem a bit dubious.

“Just because I’m happy doesn’t mean that this isn’t real, Hurley.” I don’t know, Jack. Bitter Betty that you are, I kind of think it might.

“I was happy, too, Jack. For a while, anyway, Then I saw Charlie. He likes to sit with me on the bench, out on the front lawn. It’s pretty cool, actually.”

Jack makes several expressions to indicate he’s taken aback, but they’re mixed with something else. Is Hurley spilling the beans that Jack so delicately arranged in a perfect little pile?

“Okay, so what do the two of you talk about?”

“Well, yesterday he told me you were going to be coming by. He wanted me to give you a message.”

“A message.”

Hurley goes into the drawer and takes out a piece of paper. “He made me write it down so I wouldn’t mess it up.” Hurley reads from the paper. “‘You’re not supposed to raise him, Jack.’ Does that make any sense?”

Jack gets up from his chair. “No, that doesn’t make any sense.” But when he says it, he can’t even face Hurley, instead turning completely around towards the other corner of the room!

“You think he means Aaron?”

Jack turns back.

“Take your meds, Hurley.”

Wow, what a jerk! Jack is covering it all up, isn’t he. And what’s the deal with the finger-wagging? Friends don’t finger-wag friends who spent time on a time-shifting pseudo-island together. “Just take ‘em.”

As Jack tries to run from the truth, Hurley stops him with one more thing. “Hey Jack? Charlie said someone’s gonna be visiting you, too…soon.”

And on that note, Jack bounces like a $3.2 million check.

Back on the island, the fascinating hunt for medical supplies continues. Daniel and Charlotte talk about who’s going to go down the hatch for supplies, and they flirt a little, which is disgusting. Jin asks Sun (in Korean) if Charlotte knows Daniel likes her. Sure, she’s a woman, replies Sun (also in Korean). And Charlotte turns back with a sheepish grin that suggests she understood what they said (in Korean as well).

Jin knows what’s up.

They go downstairs, and Dan wonders out loud where the power for everything is coming from, but Charlotte informs him that we won’t be finding out in tonight’s ep. “Las Vegas” Sun tells Jin that this is where Juliet brought her to see the baby, and expresses her doubts about Dan and Charlotte helping them – all in Korean, while Charlotte again makes an obvious sideways glance that indicates she understands them, and Jin again picks up on it. Don’t worry, says Jin, I’ll get your ass off this island. And the baby, too.

Sawyer Time!

Miles asks Claire if she needs some help, and Sawyer reminds him of the restraining order – but there’s a rustlin’ in the bushes. Smoke Monster? Christian Shepherd? Frank Lapidus?

Third time’s the charm.

Frank lets everyone know that Keamy is coming, and they need to hide sooner rather than later because he’s nearby. They hide quickly. It’s very Gilligan’s Island. Keamy & Company look mostly okay, except for the one guy who got tore up by the Smoke Monster, and even he seems mostly intact.

Who cares about those guys anyway. In fact, who cares about this whole scene? Aaron makes a noise and Keamy hears it, but Frank talks him out of following his instincts by demanding they head for the chopper and get back to the freighter before dark. Whew! Because I really thought Keamy was going to kill Sawyer, Claire, Aaron and Miles this week. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

On the beach, Juliet tells Kate that Jack wants Kate’s help with Jack’s surgery. Kate’s like whatever, surprised he’s not taking it out himself. J&J share a friendly moment, but it’s not that friendly. More reality-show-contestant friendly, like Kristy Jo and Aubrey, or Sinceer and Thing 2. Of course, Jack is still trying to be a hero, walking around without help; Kate’s still trying to help him and keep the Jatey times going; and Juliet is still the haggard third wheel in the equation.

Get your own man, Juliet!

She finally gets the hint and leaves, and Kate helps Jack along the beach.

Cute.

Time for a stakeout!

Yup, Jack is watching the ol’ Charlie bench. Looking for a sign? (Besides “Santa Rosa Mental Health Facility”?)

The question here seems to be, what did Jack know and when did he know it? Could it be that Jack has lived all of this before, from the crash up till now, even up to the Season 3 finale declaration of “We have to go back”? Is Jack slowly getting his time-traipsing bearings back? Is he connected to the old-timey adventures of the Black Rock? Is his dad? How about the whole Ben-Widmore dynamic, could it really be a Ben-Widmore-Christian dynamic that we haven’t seen all of yet? The answers aren’t in this scene, that’s for sure. Jack shakes his head in a very “nah, no way” fashion and drives off.

Back at the house, Jack wakes Kate up and is vague about where he’s been. She can tell something is up.

“What’s going on, what’s wrong?”

“The other night, when I was reading to Aaron, you said that I was a natural. Do you really…do you really think that I’m good at this?”

Kate cries a little. I feel you, Kate. I hate being woken up, too. “Yeah,” she says, either to me or to Jack. “You’re good at this.” Jack sighs and exhales like a wuss. There’s a pause. Then…

Jack: “Will you marry me?”

Huh?

“Yes!”

It’s that face again!

“Of course I will, yes!”

And then they go in for…

…a hug? Is that how you seal an engagement, with a hug? Hugs over kisses are not Jaters’ wishes.

Back on the beach, the supplies-getters return to the beach. And I”m bored. Thank Jacob for what comes next – the return of ass-kickin’ Jin.

“Charlotte?”

“Yes?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m sorry, maybe I can get your wife to translate…”

Her Korean seems to be improving.

Ah, so she does speak Korean. I was STILL ON THE FENCE ABOUT THAT.

Go Jin! I mean, semi-go Jin, because he seems to be selling out the rest of the gang a little. Whatever.

So now it’s operation time, and Kate is holding the mirror as requested. Things seem to be going well with the incision, then Jack starts freaking out (from the pain?), Kate gets upset, Juliet insists on knocking Jack out and Bernard does it. But isn’t that convenient? Jack freaks out, Bernard knocks him out, Juliet gets what she wanted all along? Seems like the sort of shell game we’ve seen The Others pull off before. Doesn’t it make the whole surgery storyline seem like the start of something significant? You tell me. On a side note, I haven’t seen a group of actor-doctors this unconvincing since M.A.S.H.

As soon as Jack’s eyelids close, he’s back in the hospital future, looking at x-rays, being a doctor, you know the drill.

Hey, what’s that sound?

He follows the sound, which turns out to be a low-battery beep from a smoke alarm into the waiting area. Ah, no big deal, nothing mysterious going on here. Just a smoke alarm to fix.

He gets off the counter. All done here!

“Jack?”

Papa!

“Jack?”

Poof.

So the two actor-doctors chat about the beeping smoke detector, then Jack acts for a prescription for clonazepam. “Just got a lot going on right now, a little snowed under with all my case load, and Kate and I got engaged. Just not sleeping very well at night.” She writes him a script on the spot and tells him that getting engaged is supposed to relieve stress, not create it. Interesting theory! She suggests he talk to someone. “I’ll do that,” says Dr. Jack Shephard.

So he goes home to The House That Jate Built. Time for some of that low-stress engagement feeling!

Jack hears Kate talking in the kitchen. “Yeah, I’ll just have the nanny stay for an extra couple hours….Jack’s never home before eight anyway…I could stay for at least an hour….”

Jack is staring at her now, none too pleased.

“I gotta go, Jack’s home…Yeah, okay. I’ll call you later…bye.”

Jack’s on the case. “Who was that?”

“It was Noreen.”

“Noreen…”

“She’s one of the moms from the park.”

Jack makes a face.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just never heard you mention her before.”

“Well, now you have.” She kisses him to shut him up. “I’ll see you upstairs.”

Jack starts to panic and goes for the clonazepam, grabbing two of them before he grabs a Genessee Cream Ale out of the icebox and washes the ol’ nitrobenzodiazepine down the hatch.

Back by the campfire, Sawyer and Miles sleep close to each other, while Claire sleeps a bit off to the side, because that makes sense. She awakes with a start to find that Aaron seems to be…missing? She looks around. Hmm, the woods, trees, branches, a campfire, and…

“Dad?” Your guess is as good as mine.

Over by the beach, Bernard comes out to talk to Kate, which feels like an impression of something he vaguely remembers from a waiting room scene on St. Elsewhere. Kate leaves to check on Jack and has a little chat with Juliet.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” says Juliet.

“Don’t worry about it, you had enough going on.”

“You know he kissed me.”

“What?”

“The other day when you came back from the other side of the island, Jack kissed me.”

“Oh.”

“It was nice. But it wasn’t for me, it was for him. I’m pretty sure he was trying to prove something.”

“Prove what?”

“That he doesn’t love someone else.”

Kate thanks Juliet for saving Jack’s life. Kate leaves. Then Juliet turns to closed-eyes Jack and says, “I know you’re awake.” And he is awake! “So she DOES like me! Ain’t that the bee’s knees! Kate likes me and I like Kate, ladi-dadi-daa-dii-dooooooo!” says Jack. He doesn’t really say that.

Now it’s Jack and Kate, and Jack is mad drunk.

Jack wants to know why the nanny was there so late. Kate wants to know why Jack is home so early. Jack’s still mad high and drunk.

Jack says he went to see crazy Hurley, but more importantly, where were you today, Kate? “I’m gonna ask you to trust me. Trust me. Just leave it be.” Leave it be, Jack! Jack can’t leave it be. He wants to know where Kate was at. “Jack, don’t…” Who were you talking to on the phone? “Just let it go?” He’s still asking, and asking, and yelling and asking.

“I was doing something for him.”

“For who?”

“For Sawyer.”

“I made a promise.”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter. It had nothing to do with us.”

“Then why won’t you tell me.”

“Because…because he wouldn’t want me to.”

“But he’s not here, is he? No. No, he made his choice, he chose to stay. I’m the one who came back. I’m the one who’s here. I’m the one who saved you.”

“Jack…you can’t…you can’t do this. If you have problems, you need to figure them out, all right? Cause I can’t have you like this around my son!”

“Your son? You’re not even related to him!”

Not the best timing, “Captain” Jack.

Okay, Jaters, we got more than we bargained for in this ep, so it’s time to accept the bitter with the sweet. These two head cases aren’t ready to settle down just yet.

On the island, Miles and Sawyer get reacquainted.

“Good morning.”

“It’s way too early for Chinese.” Not cool, Sawyer! “Where’s Claire? Ladies room?”

“Nope. She just walked off into the jungle.”

“What? When?”

“In the middle of the night. Just got up and left.”

“And you let her go alone?”

“She wasn’t alone.”

“Well who was she with?”

“She called him Dad. I’d have followed them, but I have a restraining order.”

Sawyer goes to grab Miles and do something freaky to him, but then he hears the crying baby.

He yells. “Claire!”

Sawyer runs after the sound. It’s not Claire.

Aaron, yes. Claire? No.

“Claire? Claire? Claire?”

CLAIRE!!!!”

*BHHWWOHHNNGGGGHGGGGG*

So there that go. The beginning of the setup of the start of the finale has begun. This week couldn’t really stack up to last week – most of the “shocking” moments with Jack’s dad and stuff were things you could see coming a mile away – but it did put the proper elements in play for a thrilling wrap-up of Season 4.

What do you think is going on? Break it down in the comments. And check out some other stuff on Lost Recaps:

Promo trailer for Season 4, Episode 12: There’s No Place Like Home (Part 1)

Season 4, Episode 11: Cabin Fever recap

Sneak Peek video clips from Season 4, Episode 11: Cabin Fever

Promo trailers from Season 4, Episode 11: Cabin Fever

Season 4, Episode 9: The Shape of Things to Come recap

Season 4, Episode 8: Meet Kevin Johnson recap

Season 4, Episode 7: Ji Yeon recap

Season 4, Episode 6: The Other Woman recap