Season 6, Episode 3: What Kate Does recap

PREVIOUSLY ON LOST: Sawyer’s sad. Sawyer’s mad. Sayid’s almost dead. Sayid’s drowning. Sayid’s dead. Sayid’s alive.

And Episode 3 begins! Barefoot Hippie Guy hustles through the hallway to his codependent buddy, Temple Guy. “He’s alive.” Cue intense face from Temple Guy.

Intense.

Miles looks confused. Sayid asks what happened. They tell Sayid that he died. Sawyer is sulking across the room with Kate. “Of course he’s fine,” sulks Sulker. “He’s an Iraqi torturer who shoots kids. He definitely deserves another go-round.” Bitter Sawyer is planning to break out of this L7 square.

We rejoin Kate, Claire and the cabbie from LA X. Claire wants out, but Kate yells at her. Damn, Kate. Arzt drops his luggage in front of their cab and does a nice Ratso Rizzo impression: “I’m walkin here! I’m walkin here!” Good one. Kate keeps it so gangsta that the cabbie hops out and runs for his life. Kate drives. Kate makes Claire get out and give up the goods, i.e., her purse. Damn, Kate!

At the Temple, they’re bringing Sayid up to speed. Hugo explains the new Others, who seem to be good guys. “As you can see, Hugo here has assumed the leadership position,” says Miles. “So that’s pretty great.” Lost got jokes.

Temple Guy and Hippie Guy stop by to say that they need to talk to Sayid alone. They scuffle with Jack. It’s lame. It’s so lame that Sawyer takes out a gun. He’s taking off. The Others try to reason with him. Temple Guy even lets out some funky-tasting English! “Please, you have to stay.” Sawyer is not the breakup to make up type. He’s outta here.

The Others take Sayid. Kate’s going after Sawyer. She says she can track and be persuasive. Jin’s going along. And the post-premiere lull is in full effect. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

In LA X Land, Kate rolls up on a mechanic and demands help at gunpoint. He gives her a lecture on what’s wrong with her car, then offers to help if she’s nice. You catch more flies with honey, Kate! She goes to change clothes and ends up looking at Claire’s stuff, her bag, her killer whale stuffed animal. Kate looks in the mirror. Take a look at yourself and then make a change, Kate.

In Temple time, Kate is getting ready to go after Sawyer…slowly. Let’s go, Kate! She has a moment with Jack. Trail’s getting cold, Kate! Jack pulls her in for another eye-contacty moment. Wrap it up, K! They finally leave.

Down the hall in the honeymoon swuite, Temple Guy has Sayid tied to a table. He blows some sand-like stuff over Sayid. He clips some stuff to Sayid. He cranks up some electricity. It’s like 9 1/2 Weeks up in here. Sayid screams. “Why? Why are you doing this?” Sayid is whinier than usual. It gets freakier. Temple Guy burns Sayid with a hot poker. Pinhead is glad he got this part on DVR to watch later with the rest of the Cenobites! No tears, please. It’s a waste of good suffering.

Afterwards, Hippie Guy apologizes to Sayid for the torture stuff, says they had to test him to be sure, but don’t worry, Sayid, you passed. Sayid leaves. “I just lied to him, didn’t I,” says Hippie Guy. Yes, acknowledges Temple Guy. Uh-oh.

We rejoin Kate, who has gone back to find Claire. She brought Claire’s stuff back, even her money. She tries to make small talk about where Claire was going. Claire relents and tells her she was bringing her baby to a couple in Brentwood. Kate offers to drive her there.

On the island, Kate and Jin get to tracking. Aldo of The Others says he’s protecting them from the smoke monster. Jin asks about the Ajira. Justin, the other Other, starts to answer, but Aldo tells him to shut it. Kate finds the trail and a Rousseau-style trap. Justin says it can’t be a Rousseau trap, she’s been dead for years. Aldo tells him to shut it again. Aldo starts to guilt trip Kate for not remembering him from his days guarding the cages as if it’s a high school reunion and they used to sit right next to each other in homeroom. It’s annoying, and Kate knocks his ass out, then sets off the trap to knock Justin out. Jin asks her what she’s doing. “Escaping.”

Sayid returns to his homies at the Temple and whines about being tortured. Anyone else find this out of character for Sayid? I know it was some freaky torture business, but still.

Jack goes to talk to Temple Guy and Hippie Guy. What’s the deal, fellas? They say that they were checking to see if Sayid was sick. Temple Guy mumbles something, and Hippie Guy says there’s no literal translation, but in a nutshell, he’s infected. Jack differs with this medical opinion, which makes Temple Guy scoff and snarf a bit. The codependent duo wants Jack to give Sayid a pill, but Jack’s not feeling it. Temple Guy resorts to English and appeals to Jack directly. How’d Sayid get shot, Jack? Helping your ass out? Have other people gotten shot and killed helping your ass out? Then this is your chance to make up for it. Jack sees his point, but posits, “What if I don’t?” The infection will spread, says Temple Guy.

Sayid, Miles and Hurley chit-chat to pass the time in this mostly filler episode. Miles asks if he remembers anything, white light, relatives, Warren Beatty playing for the Rams. Nope. Hugo asks if he’s a zombie. Nah. Jack comes back. I’m surprised we didn’t kill a minute of time watching Jack walk back from Temple Guy’s office, what a snoozer. Anyway, Jack asks Miles and Hurley to bounce so he can talk to Sayid in private. Hugo points out that private conversations usually lead to him having to do things he doesn’t understand. I feel you, empathizes Jack. Hurley and Miles leave, but not before Miles delivers the line of the episode: “We’ll be in the food court.” Lolz.

We rejoin Kate and Jin. Jin asks her where the plane beez at. Kate’s got nothing to say but PEACE. She’s out.

On the road to Brentwood, Kate and Claire get to talking. Claire asks where the handcuffs went. Kate says she cut them off. Claire says the parents must be nice, they live in a nice neighborhood. Kate throws some shade at her. Claire is like, what, do you think it’s weird that the parents weren’t at the airport? Because they weren’t. They get to the house. Claire asks her to come in. Kate says, “Are you kidding me?” Claire’s not kidding. They ring the bell, and a crying woman answers the door. She says her husband left her. She can’t deal. It’s totes complicated. Kate says, “She came all the way from Australia!” Fact! Another fact: Claire starts having the baby on the crying flaky woman’s doorstep.

What if I told you the next scene is back on the island? Would that wake you up? It’s okay, get your rest. Next week will be more exciting. Kate’s at the barracks looking for Sawyer. She spies on him as he pries up some floorboards and takes out a box. He hears a noise and pulls out his gun. Who dat? It’s Kate. What’s up, Kate? Kate was worried about him. *COMMERCIAL BREAK*

Kate takes Claire to the hospital, because they’re friends now. And guess who the doctor is? DOCTOR GOODSPEED, as in SON OF HORACE AND AMY GOODSPEED, who you may recognize as TOM CRUISE’S COUSIN, or more apropos to Lost as ETHAN ROM, who may or may not have been a MITTELOS BIOSCIENCE EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK. Dr. Goodspeed offers Claire two options: have the baby now or take a bunch of drugs. He’s leaning toward baby now. She’s leaning toward bunch of drugs. She’s not ready to have Aaron yet, she says. Kate makes vaguely supportive, caring faces throughout, which is kind of nice, especially when you consider she’s a sociopath.

Let’s have another scene with Kate and Sawyer! Kate says she came back to find Claire, and wants Sawyer’s help to find Claire and bring her back to Aaron. Kate says, you know, sorry about the sub and Juliet being dead and all, my bad. Sawyer says, nah, it’s my fault for making her stay on this wack-ass island with my dumb ass. Then he cries. He emotes. He says he was going to ask Juilet to marry him. He throws the ring into the water. Then he’s ready to head back to the Temple, says they can probably make it by nightfall. Kate tries to cry convincingly and fails. It makes Josh Holloway’s fine work in this scene all the more impressive.

Back at Temple Guy’s office, he’s spinning a baseball around on his desk. Jack comes in and asks what it is. “It’s a baseball,” says Temple Guy. Okay, I get that this is a slow episode, but DAMN! Jack asks Temple Guy why his baseball-spinning ass doesn’t speak English more often. Temple Guy says he does it to maintain a healthy distance from the people he has to look after. Jack asks for his name. “My name is Dogen,” says Temple Guy a.k.a. Dogen. Jack asks how he got to the island. Dogen says he was brought to the island.

Dogen guesses that Jack didn’t give Sayid the pill. Good guess. Jack wants to know what’s in it. Dogen won’t tell. You’ll just have to trust me, he says. But as we know, Jack does not play that. Jack takes the pill! Ha! Dogen runs over and ass-kick Heimlichs the pill out of Jack. Now will you tell me what’s in the pill, asks Jack? “Poison,” says Dogen.

In Claire’s hospital room, a detective shows up looking for Kate. Claire covers for her. Kate reappears after the cops leave. Claire gives Kate her credit card. Kate tells Claire to keep the baby, you know, because they’re so close now. Claire says she doesn’t know where the name Aaron came from, it just came out. Then Kate’s like PEACE.

In the Temple, Hippie Guy is in disbelief over Jack swallowing the pill. Believe it, Hippie Guy. Jack failed recess, he does not play. Dogen gives Jack some tea.

“Why would you people want to kill Sayid?”

Dogen says, “We believe he has been…misahadhadhlldho.”

Hippie Guy says, “The closest translation is, ‘Claimed.’”

“Claimed,” says Jack. “By what?”

“There is a darkness growing in him,” says Dogen. “And once it reaches his heart, everything your friend once was…will be gone.”

Jack seems skeptical. “How can you be sure of that?”

“Because it happened to your sister,” says Dogen.

That gets Jack’s full attention.

Back in Jin’s storyline, Justin and Aldo catch up with him and rough him up. Jin says he’s going back to the Temple, but Aldo is still mad that Kate kicked his ass, and considers taking it out on Jin. But just when Aldo is about to shoot Jin…POP! POP! Aldo down! POP! Justin down! Jin looks to see who the shooter is.

Claire!

“Claire?”

Claire looks at Jin, confused. Claire?

L  O  S  T

And that’s all we get this week! Where do you think it’s all going? Check out the trailer for Episode 4: The Substitute and share your thoughts in the comments.